Death Rattle Tweed/Plexi Overdrive

During the first part of the Old Kingdom of ancient Egypt, the Pharaohs ruled the earth. In 2686 B.C., King Menes united Upper and Lower Egypt, establishing the most powerful monarchy the earth had ever seen. The new capitol of Egypt became Memphis, so the Pharaoh decreed.

But the Pharaohs had rulers too. Three years after the unification of Egypt, the earth was visited by a race of super intelligent space monkeys. The space monkeys came in peace, but were horrified at the enslavement of apes by humans. The space monkey ship rained fire down upon the people of Memphis, pausing only to steal the firstborn male of every family to work in their intergalactic monkey mines.

When finally the people of Memphis released the apes from their wire cages, the space monkeys suspended their attack on the condition that all slavery be ended forever, for all species. The people agreed, and as a sign of good faith the space monkeys bestowed glorious technology on the primitive Egyptian society.

Soon the monkeys left earth, leaving one of their kind behind to watch over the humans. But when the monkey rulers had left, King Menes seized the monkey overseer and subjected him to unspeakable torture. The people, fearful that his actions would bring death by space monkeys, begged him to stop, but the evil king would not heed.

Still exploring the technology left behind by the space monkeys, his priests monitored and recorded the bodily reaction of the tortured space monkey. The priests watched dispationately as the brave space monkey was tickled with feathers and forced to watch a cow being born. The torture of the space monkey lasted two years, during which his every heartbeat, brainwave, and eye movement was recorded digitally, up until the final moment of his life. At the very moment he died, his lips curled in a defiant sneer; he screamed "Monkey Man", and his body shuddered, overloading the circuit on the recorder, rendering it inoperable. Since his priests did not possess the knowledge to repair it, the King ordered the space monkey's body, along with all the recordings locked in an enourmous stone vault at the base of the Great Pyramid, and the space monkey technology was lost to the world.

In 1928, during an archealogical expedition outside Cairo, a team led by British born historian Baxter Buster discovered the hidden chamber containing the ancient recordings. Swearing his team to secrecy, Professor Buster smuggled the artifacts out of Egypt. After his return to England, Professor Buster became wierd and paranoid, fearing betrayal by his companions on the expedition. A month later he invited the entire team to his cottage in the Cotswold, and in a fit of insanity he poisoned them all with rotten tea, killing the lot. Baxter Buster died three days later in a shootout with police.

After the death of Professor Buster, his estate became the property of his only living relative, Bartholomew "Batt" Buster. Batt Buster had emmigrated to America in 1912 with his ailing mother and father. When his parents both died tragically in a spaghetti accident, young Batt survived alone on the streets living on cockles and muscles. Educating himself by night, Batt soon found work as an engineer at Thomas Edison's laboratory in New Jersey. Eventually, Batt married an amputee named Big Nose Lucy who begat him his only son Matt.

Years later, upon his father's death, Matt discovered a simian skeleton and futuristic looking devices in the attic of the Buster family home. After deciphering the accompanying manual, Matt was able to repair the recording devices left by the space monkeys. What Matt found shocked him, but he was also intrigued. Matt longed to share his discovery with the world, but was unsure how to proceed. That night as he slept, and idea began to form in Matt's mind - to somehow transfer the digital recording of the space monkey's last moments to a guitar effect pedal. The next day Matt approached ToadWorks with the concept, and like morons we agreed.

ToadWorks Death Rattle is something dark and twisted. It is not what you expect. It is pure evil. Keep your children away. If they play with it they will develop a skin condition. If you buy it your dog will hate you. Your parents will disown you. No one will like you. If your boss finds out you will get fired.

The Death Rattle is upon you, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Owners Manual

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